I must, evidently, look like a drunken whore...

Last month I visited a friend of mine in Smyrna, GA. Smyrna, for those of you who don't know, is a quaint, family friendly town about 20 minutes from downtown Atlanta.

While I was in Smyrna, we visited one of my favorite places in the world: DSW. Looking for a pair of red patent-leather flats, I wandered up and down the aisles while a man who favored Kyle from Living Single followed me. After a few minutes, he offered some assistance, helped me find some sandals and spend the rest of the time admiring my beauty and fawning over me. He called me beautiful. He told me I had a lovely smile. He said I was a sight to behold.

Flattered, I smiled coyly and let him continue. This went on for a few minutes before he asked me for my number because he "just had to see me before I left Atlanta." I told him I was staying in a friend in the area and he said he lived in downtown Atlanta.

Thoughts of free dinner flooded my head and I obliged. After giving him my number (note, after), he walked me back to my friend and asked, "Are you adventurous?"

My left eyebrow raised slightly. "Sometimes," I replied, "why do you ask?"

And this is where he went from sugar to shit real quick.

"Because I just moved to Atlanta from MI and I don't have a car yet." My eyebrow started twitching. "Are you opposed to the bus?"

The eyebrow was jumping uncontrollably. "No," I answered "I'm not opposed to buses." (Which is true. I totally support public transportation. It's good for the environment. That does not mean, however,that I am supportive of me taking the bus in an unknown large metropolitan city to meet a man I do not know.)

"Ok," he said, looking redeemed, "I'll give you a call. Maybe you can catch the bus to downtown and we can meet up."

Sigh. I don't need to expound on how many things were wrong with the first part of the conversation.

My friend and I left DSW and laughed all the way back to the car.

***Just when you thought the story could get no better.***

A few hours later, about 9:03 that night, I got a phone call from an unrecognizable MI number. I let it go to voicemail. Here is the message:

"Good evening lady...I wanted to give you a call and possibly give you out a shout....I loved meeting you earlier today and would love to see you again.....perhaps we can make it convenient for the both of us.....Oh, yeah, I just left the liquor store and bought a fifth of Three Olives vodka with you in mind...give me call when you get this, I'd love to see you again."