Shock and Awe

Shock and Awe is a useful military strategy used to create confusion for the enemy's perception so the enemy becomes paralyzed and loses the will to fight. This technique, typically associated with the armed forces, is also utilized during students during the last few precious minutes of school.

Friday was the last full day of school--the last day I would see all 140 of my 8th graders during the same six-hour time period. I would love to say that I was saddened by this, but the reality is that at 2:16 I PUSHED those monkeys out the door and quickly locked it. :)

My fifth hour, otherwise known as the zoo, was in rare form as usual. I don't know how well you remember your last day of school, but I can almost guarantee it was nothing but your teachers trying to maintain some semblance of order either by watching a movie, playing a game, or letting you have "free" time as long as you used "inside voices."

About two minutes into the hour, a hand shot up in the air. I acknowledged it and this is what the mouth attached to the body which was erecting the hand in the air said:

"Ms. Daughtery, What's a queef?"

Peals of laughter erupted from every corner of the room from the more "advanced" eighth graders. The ones who still watch Pokemon just looked around confused.

Shock and Awe.

Now, how in the WORLD was I supposed to answer that?

She folllowed up with rapid gunfire: "Do you know what a queef is?" "It's ok, you can pretend you're the health teacher."
This was accompainied by comments which shot across the room like buckshots "Queef!" "I just queefed!" "You're a Queef!"

I tried not to laugh. I really did. My co-teacher tried not to laugh. She really did. While we were being consumed by the "shock and awe:Queef offensive" my class was getting louder and the propensity for absolute chaos was building.

"OK!" I yelled about the laughter."It's a second-cousin to a camel" (thinking camel toe)

For the next 45 minutes, boys and girls alike would randomly screech out "Queef!" It was like trying to pop those purple monsters at Chuck-E-Cheese on the head. The minute you hit one, another pops up.

Summer...so close, yet so far...

*M*