Earth Day

As a citizen of this great planet we all happen to live on, I feel the need to say some things about Earth Day--aka another holiday created for the purpose of selling cards, giving gifts, and writing blogs.

it is clear to me that we are killing the Earth. You may be wondering how, as we are very small and the earth is very large. Even with that, we are still managing to destroy plants, flowers, trees, water, wind and even that necessary extra coating called the ozone layer around the earth that ensures that we do not burn into little crisps every time we step outside. Have you seen pictures of the polar bears lately? They're sad. Sad and yellow. Sad and yellow and hot. Have you seen the icebergs? They're melting. Melting and warming. Melting and warming and drowning the sad, yellow, hot polar bears.

So, here are some things I implore you to do:

1. Recycle paper. When you get done with your falsified documents, counterfeit money and porn magazines, please shred them and then recycle them. Stop hiding 10 years of Hustler under the bed, when that is good paper that can be recycled. The pulp from those papers can be used to make new, more improved falsified documents, counterfeits and porn.

2. Pirate. Buying CD's only increases the CFC we put into the atmosphere. The more we buy, the more we have to make plastic CDs. Borrow CD's from friends and burn those. Better yet, find a website which will allow you to download (but not share :) ) music and video.

3. Recycle water. You know the rule: If its yellow, just be mellow. If it's brown, flush it down!

4. Walk. Stop driving around the corner to the liquor store! Walk dammit! Plus, gas is $4 a gallon.

5. *This is to all my friends reaching their quarter life crises and drinking bottles of wine alone* STOP throwing the empty bottles away! I have a nice one holding tulips. They make lovely vases.

6. Recycle food. Remember that rice you made a few days ago? Rice pudding, rice muffins, rice cereal and rice wine can all be made.

7. Make a compost heap. Just do it in your neighbor's yard so yours does not smell all garbagy and stuff...

8. Purchase a reuseable flask so you can bring your own alcohol to the club. (LOL, I KNOW some of you do this already...)

9. Stop spending so much time at the hair dresser. Each time they plug in that blow dryer, flatiron and pressing comb, how many harmful fumes are being released into the atmosphere? Take a page from the book of crazy in Texas and start sporting a 1850 Laura Ingalls Wilder wave. That FLDS hair never seems to move.

10.Plant a tree! Grow your own fruit, vegetables and "herbs". Stop paying so much when--with a dark closet and a black light--you can, evidently, grown your own in the comfort of your own closet.

*M*

PS--Though it may not seem like it, based on the content of this post, I really am concerned about the state of the earth. I do recycle and I walk to places less than 2 miles from my house. Unless you want you children's children to look like Shrek 5 or have one large cyclop like eye in the middle of their foreheads 50 years from now, please do your part--no matter how small.

Every little bit matters.

Here are some facts (well, as factual as you can get from the internet...
1.Garbage in a landfill stays there for about 30 years.
2. I 1995 over 200 of the world's landfills were full.
3. Each person throws away approximately four lbs of garbage each day.
4. Approximately 5 million tons of oil produced in the world each year ends up in the ocean.
For every 2000 lbs of paper recycled, we save 7,000 gallons of water from chemicals.
5. 84% of all household waste can be recycled.

Here are some real things you can do:
1. Replace a regular incandescent light bulb with a compact flourescent light bulb. This switch will save about 300 lbs of carbon dioxide a year. I've switched and it's not that bad. A little dark at first, but not bad.
2. Do not leave household apliances on standby.
3. Cover your pots when cooking.
4. Do not use the washing maching and dish washer when they are half full.
5. Use a clothesline instead of a dryer whenever possible.

and who can forget...
6. Plant a tree.