I don't know if you know this, but the annual porn convention is held in January each year in Vegas. This year marked the 25th annual AVN awards, complete with the following awards:
Best Amateur Release
Best Fem-Dom Strap On
Best MILF Series
Best Spanking
and those were the ones I felt comfortable to post on my blog. Anywho, I did not make my way to the convention center to hang out with the Jenna Jamisons and Skye Blue and Cherokee D'Ass' of the world. I actually stayed away from the convention, thinking I would be safe.
I was wrong.
Yesterday, as I was getting my nails done, at a spa far away from the convention center, a few porn stars walked in, I assume for a touch up before the big award night. If you have never seen a porn star in person, then you will not accurately be able to picture the following description:
I want you to imagine the largest pair of breasts you can. Fill them up with lead. Stick them to a body that is, at best, petite. Add 3 more sizes to the breasts. Make sure they stand completely out, like shelving. Then, imagine the shiniest pair of patent leather shoes you can. Give them 4 inch heels and ridiculous straps or laces or buckles. Then, imagine long hair. Longer. Longer. And longer. Make it stringy, multi-colored, and well, kind of gross. Now imagine a botox face job gone bad.
You have a porn star in real life.
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5 comments:
Hey! Be careful! I like Jenna. I just watched a special on her life and it was very interesting. So, leave her alone!
I'm afraid to ask who she is.
Welcome to Vegas, Baby. You ain't in Kansas anymore, Dorothy! (lol)
And, come on, you know better than to go to a nail salon at any point before awards night, dude!
Hi...who is Mrs. Brown?
Mrs. Brown is Lateefah
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